HAVEN'T DONE SO GOOD!!!!

At keeping my goal for my blog. I really want to write everyday, it calms me, it makes me feel like I'm not the only one going through crazy stuff. Sorry its been so long. I had my 32nd birthday on January 29th. It was fun, relaxing and I felt so much love from my husband and kids. Kayla made me a coffee cup, a small one out of clay and it matches the color in my kitchen. Danielle finished my curtains in my kitchen and they are amazing, I'll post pictures. For my birthday Danielle bought me the South Beach Diet book. She says she has had great success on this diet and thought I would like it too. I DO. I have been on it for two weeks and have lost 7 pounds or so, I have cheated a few times, but have gotten right back on it. The cravings are so hard especially at night. Jeremy is doing it with me and he is doing an amazing job, sometimes I feel like we don't motivate eachother as much as we should. When one feels like falling off the other "allows" this to happen instead of smacking some sense into eachother. Its a difficult thing to be hard on the one you love, you don't want to hurt their feelings but you know this is whats best for them. We have done good at working out about 5 times a week. We have found that we have to remove the children from where we are to get a workout in. Everything will be fine until we start working out and then someone hit someone else and someone is bleeding or want to be held.. ITS MADNESS. So we are shipping the kids to grandma's house for an hour, that way they can keep in touch and we can have workout time alone, uninterrupted. Hope that works better for us.

For my birthday I wanted a gym membership so I could go to the gym with my friend Monica who is totally motivated and she motivates me but I can't go with her to the gym because I can't afford a gym membership. So for my birthday Jer got me the Wii Fit. Its not a gym membership but it gets you up and moving. They have yoga and strength training and it keeps track of everything, you BMI and your weight and all your progress. HOW NICE IS THAT? Its reality though, you get on there to weigh yourself and its reality... I don't feel like I'm over 200 pounds, until I look in the mirror or see a picture of myself and then reality smacks me in the face all over again, this is a daily occurrence. I need to lose weight for the fact that I have chronic back pain, now losing weight won't guarantee me to have less back pain, but I'm willing to find out. My liver has been acting up, I know I have a fatty liver, but my enzymes have been elevated and if they don't start going down my Dr. will go to extreme measures to figure out whats wrong.. I don't want that. I seem to have trouble losing weight, so thats where the South Beach Diet has come into play. I'm hoping it will help me out, otherwise I'll be looking into the lap band surgery. I can't have a gastric bypass, I don't need or can't lose more than 100 pounds, so I don't qualify for that, so the lap band is the next best thing. I'm hoping I can do it the old fashion way. We'll see. So far so good. I feel so much better when I workout, even though my back feels worse somedays.

I got the best birthday gift this year, A call from my two favorite nephews, 7:30am the morning of my birthday the phone rings and it's Caiden and Kaleb.. OMG I miss them sooo much, it was so good to hear from them. And then Heather got on the phone and wished me Happy Birthday as well, that made me feel sooo good. Thanks Heather for calling me and allowing the boys to wish me happy birthday. Thanks to everyone else who sent me e-cards and wished me Happy Birthday over email and facebook, it means alot!

On the 31st some of my friends took me out to the bar for my Birthday. It was sooo much fun, drinking and hanging out. I had a dirty martini and just about threw up.. EWWW. Then I quickly followed it with a flooofy drink as my dad would call them. Such a fun time hanging out with the people you care about and know they care about you. I have great friends.. Oh and Monica got me a new pair of jammies for my birthday, silk jammies... I've never had silk jammies. Thanks M for the wonderful gift, they are so comfy to sleep in.

Superbowl Sunday was awesome. First off Heather and the boys came over to visit. It was so nice to see them. The twins are growing so fast and are such sweet boys. I truly miss seeing them everyday, I think everyone does. Heather and I went to go get a coffee from Starbucks, that was yummy, It made me feel so alive and powerful...LOL. We came back to my house and played an awesome game of tennis on the Wii.. SO MUCH FUN. Heather and I have always been competitive in our own fun way, so it was fun to see who would win. It gave us a huge workout, and she said she was sore the next day! THATS HOW YOU KNOW IT WAS AN AWESOME GAME. Thanks again for coming over and hanging out, it was good to re-live old times.
Thanks to everyone else who came over and watched the game with us, it was fun times, and good food. Tiffany is always a good cook and makes the best things. The last quarter of the Superbowl is when both Jeremy and I started to feel sick. It hit us hard.

Monday morning I woke up and was so sick I couldn't even move, it felt like my nick and back were broken. So much pain in my neck and spine. I spent most of the day in bed. I can't take decongestants or any fun stuff like that due to my liver and heart, so I had to rough it out. I am finally starting to feel better, I think!

I miss my Monica, she's in Missouri for 5 days on business. We usually talk everyday and now that she's in meetings we don't get to talk and I miss her and she's far away and I can't wait til she gets back home.. I love that woman with all my heart, she is so great!!

Enough blabbing for me, I guess I should try and sleep, I'm so stressed I haven't been sleeping much. Financial difficulties I guess you could call it.. Hoping it will all work out.

Loves
Mel