2008 REFLECTIONS...

2008 is almost over and done with, WOW how fast did that go by? I want to take a moment and reflect on this year. 2008 has been a fast paced amazingly emotional year.

January, I turned 31, yeah 31. I remember when I was in my twenties and the thirties looked so far away, not anymore because I'M THERE. I had an amazing birthday party with a good group of people. I got my tattoo updated. When I turned 21 my dad bought my tattoo for me as a gift, It was my birth flower and Kayla's birth flower and this year I added Brycen, Emma, Hannah and Jeremy's flower to my garden, its complete for now.
Kayla turned 12, pre-teen with all the emotions, and she started junior high, and got a cell phone..I love her, we have such an amazing bond with eachother.
Brycen turned 7 and is growing bigger everyday and loves football, I can't wait to get him into a peewee league when he's 8. He lost his first tooth this year and tried contacts, that was fun, but finally went back to glasses. He's in 2nd grade and is very very smart.
My dad retired in June from Park City Police Department. June was a busy month for all of us, we attended so many wonderful events that people planned for us. One thing that we pulled off was an amazing Retirement party!!! We spent many days on the phone with the Marriott ordering things just so they would be exactly how we wanted them. It turned out wonderfully, it was an evening of drinks, dancing, crying, laughing and remembering a great officer and what he has done for the Park City community. I am so proud to have such a wonderful, loving and successful father.
Jeremy turned 34, he is almost in his mid thirties, who would have thought? LOl I tease him because he will always be older, but time has been good to him.. He's still as handsome as ever. My mom and Don came to visit for a few days, it was wonderful, I love seeing them, I miss them so much. they were so helpful and always are when they come out to stay, we always seem to get a project done while their out here. This time we put a banister on my front porch, it turned out awesome, it brings so much character to my house. thank you mom, don, fish and Jer for working so hard on it. It was alot of fun to watch it come together. We always have a good time, Jeremy and Don enjoying their "geysers" from Wasatch Brewery to BBQing for the whole family, we definitely had alot of fun together and the kids loved the time spent with Grandma Ray and Pappy. Then my mom came back in October for work, we were able to steal her for a day and have dinner with her. All of her kids and grandkids came together for a few hours to spend time with her, that was alot of fun, short amount of time but fun. My mom has lived in Georgia for 13 years, I have always missed her and enjoy seeing her once a year maybe twice a year at times. But as i get older and everytime she leaves I miss her even more. I enjoy the time we do get to spend with her but I cry everytime her and Don leave, they are such wonderful loving people. I can't wait to hug them again.. Thank you mom and Don for all that you have done and do for the Carter six pack, it is so much appreciated.
Hannah turned 2, wow, my baby is two, she is now a toddler, not an infant or a baby anymore, she is so smart, such a talker. She mimics everything that Emma does and they love eachother so very much. All she wanted for her birthday was a baby, so we got her one and each day she carries her around and loves her unconditionally. She loves to talk on the phone, so thank you to all of you who have been called just so Hannah can talk on the phone, its much appreciated. I remember she called my dad one day and was talking away and he thought he was talking to Emma, Ha Ha Ha it was so funny and then when he realized it was Hannah he was so amazed. We had a wonderful Halloween Party for the kids and went trick-or-treating around the neighborhood with all of our kids friends, it was so fun and all the costumes were great.
We attended an adult Halloween party, everyone looked amazing, it was so fun to see everyone dress up. The night started out great until a few people got so drunk that their sense of respect and responsibility flew out the window and all their morals and values were gone. I learned alot about a few people that night. Not so fun.. I will never surround myself with others who like to do that..
We updated our kitchen, new everything. It was hard to live wthout a kitchen but well worth it. We were only without a full kitchen for a couple weeks so that was good. Now that it is done we love it so very much, everyone always gravitates to that part of the house anyway. It holds up well with alot of people. I have had a few gatherings and love it. Well worth the money and wait.
Thanksgiving was amazing as always, Jeremy and I cook the bird together and as I always say a couple who cooks a bird together stays together. PA HA HA We had his mom over and it was a quiet wonderful day.
Towards the end of this year we have had major changes in our lives. We have done so much work to our house, all the rooms upstairs have been upgraded, so the only thing left is the basement. Other changes have been not watching my nephews anymore, they moved to Magna and go to a different school and a different daycare. I have had the pleasure of watching them the last three years and I've enjoyed every moment. They became a huge part of our family. I am sad to see Heather and the boys go, but I know that they will be happy out in Magna with Aaron and a new school, still it isn't any easier mourning the loss of them. I am hoping they will remember the wonderful times we had together and I hope they will always know that I am here for them at any time.
Another change has been losing a group of people that were an important part of my life. I have learned that the world is ever changing and so are people. The ones who you thought were your friends really aren't and will do something to harm you in an instant, or turn their back on you in a blink of an eye. I have had four people done that to me recently. It pains me to have opened my heart and my life up to people who are not so nice. I have gotten a close up view of who they really are and I do not and will not surround myself with such negativity. In a way I am grateful to know of their true motives just so I don't make the mistake and forgive them just to get hurt again. Since that door has slammed shut another wonderful door has opened and I have found others to turn to, ones who are true, honest, genuinely nice and just want to be your friend without "plotting" something against you. Friends who are mature, and on the same life path that you are. A group of people that can be friends with eachother without others getting mad and throwing attitudes. I love it and am blessed to have met such wonderful ADULTS and I look forward to future gatherings like the one we had on 12-20 at the bar, what an amazing night.
Emma turned 4, what a smart kid she is. She is our firecracker, miss attitude, she is hard-headed and stubborn but can be such a sweetheart all at the same time. She has a best friend, Diego, I have had the pleasure to care for him for the past two years, its been a fun time. He fits into our family well. He loves Jeremy and always calls him funny. The whole Montes family fits in well with our family, they are such wonderful friends to us, we are truly blessed to have them in our life.
And here we are to NOW, I love the holiday season, I love Christmas and what it stands for. We had our Evans family gathering, I miss my aunts and uncles and cousins. I caught my dad and his brother standing back looking at the family and commenting on how wonderful we all are, that meant alot and I'm glad i was within ears-shot of that comment. Cousin Jessi and i are going to plan something for the summertime for this family, we need to get together more than just once a year. I love everyone and it was so great to hang out with them for a few hours.
I can't believe Santa will be here soon. The kids are looking forward to it. I am too. I need to get our Christmas cards out, if they are late I'm sorry. Mom your gift is coming in January, sorry I couldn't make the deadline for Christmas. We are hoping together with the Lindsay side of the family, well atleast the little kids so they can exchange gifts. They always have alot of fun.
New Years is around the corner. It will be different this year, so many changes in our lives and the old traditions are going to be gone, well atleast for me. I am looking forward to starting my own traditions, ones that will never be broken. I have great goals for 2009 but thats for another blog.
My Christmas wish for this year is to have a sisterhood with my younger sister. Her and I have not been able to see eye to eye on a few things and its ended up in not having a great relationship anymore. I have apologized as much as I am able to. I just hope we can get past this and have a new sistership together. I love her with all of my heart and miss her so much. I hope 2009 will bring us a new start.
I guess you could say that in 2008 I have loved, laughed, listened and lost. Yet I wouldn't change this year for anything, it has taught me so much and has made me a much better person. I believe that the things we experience in life make us better people in the long run. I am just trying to be the best person I can be. "I AM WHO I AM AND THATS ALL I KNOW HOW TO BE"

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from THE CARTER 6 PACK

"STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL"

The famous quote from my mom!! She has always told me that, as far back as I can remember. She is right, I know that, Its just hard to remember sometimes.

I am a giver, I give and give and expect nothing but simple kindness, I guess that is to much to ask. I am a problem solver, I reach out and befriend people with the best intentions at heart. When you try to get to know someone you ask questions, you want to know t hings, you try to start conversations or small talk. I have tried to do all that for one person, and got nothing in return so I stopped. Now I'm told that I dislike this person. I can't win. I try to help then I try to step back and not help and I get crap for both.

This has shaken me ALOT. How and why does this one person hurt me so bad? Why do I let them? I have no answers other than that is how I'm made.

Like my mom told me last night, you pick yourself up and brush yourself off and go tell that person to KISS off!!! (I want to use the word that starts with and F and ends in a K) PA HA HA HA HA no really, you just go on in life. Weed out the bad people, the ones who don't add any good to your life. It's just hard. I will do it and life will go on. I have learned my lesson.

Thanks mom for your advice and your ear for me to cry on. I LOVE YOU..

MY KIDS ARE FAMOUS!!!

On Wednesday we had an eye Dr. appointment at 1pm so I thought it would be good for the kids to go to school for the morning half of the day. So starting 11:40am I drop Diego off at preschool (he is a little darling that I watch) he attends preschool in the same school that Brycen goes to. I try to check Brycen out but he is at lunch, so I am walking all over the lunch room to find him, I figured he was outside so I just took it upon myself to go out there and get him. I found him, he had to tell me he had an asthma attack first thing in the morning, so that story took forever, and then we got his backpack, saw his teacher and told her he would not be back due to his appointment, she then began so explain something, I have no idea what. Then we headed back to the office so I could sign him out.. OMG it took forever, then we were on our way to go get Kayla from school. I told her before she left school that I would call her on her cell phone when I was on my way there. I did that, I left her a message. I got to her school and she was at lunch, so they could only announce her name through the halls.. Yeah she didn't show up, she didn't answer her phone, I was blowing it up every two minutes.. I waited there for twenty minutes, until lunch was over and she was going to walk by the office. OMG I was going to hit her in her head.. I was so mad, and we were now running late. Meanwhile Jer is in the truck with the other kids whom I'm sure are throwing fits. FINALLY we are on our way to the eye dr. On the way there Jeremy says "we are keeping them out of school for the whole day next time, this is crazy" so we speed to our appointment only to find that clinic has been cancelled because of a power outage.. WHAT??? we went all the way to Primary Childrens for them not to be seen.. OMG I was going to freak out.. So I get my cell phone out and call the Moran Eye Center to reschedule. While I'm doing that the eye dr. comes out and asks Jeremy and the kids if they want to be on the news with him. It was a story about getting your eyes checked as early as possible to catch any problems and fix them. So all four kids were picked to be on the news with their eye dr. A man who has been in our life for almost 13 years. He says we have racked up our frequent flyer miles... Damn straight.. I love him though he has made it possible for my childrens eye sight to be the best it can be. Thanks Dr. Hoffman. You can watch it at this link: http://www. ksl. com/?nid=148&sid=4974690 I am a proud mom.. I am all for teaching other parents how important it is to get your childs eyes checked. All in all it was a very strange day.. It was worth going to the eye dr. LOL

THESE ARE JUST CUTE RANDOM PICTURES I ADDED..

UPSIDE DOWN... HOW CAN THAT BE?

IN OUR HOUSE THAT IS...I have to vent, I have vented in front of my husband and to the point where there is nothing more that we can talk about on this particular subject... So earlier this year, April I believe it was, we got everything together to get our house refinanced because our mortgage was going to an adjustable rate. We put all of our paper work in and the appraiser came out. We get a phone call from our fabulous mortgage broker Jessi. The appraiser said that our house won't appraise for what we are expecting it to. So it wasn't worth refinancing at that time... The appraiser specifically said "upgrade your kitchen, it will add equity" So that is what we did, on the spot upgraded the kitchen... 15,000 worth of kitchen upgrade. We were told that we would get all that back in a refi.. So we rushed to get it done. Did the best job we knew how.. We sent everything in to start the process. Get a call saying our debt to income ratio is to high, BECAUSE WE UPGRADED OUR KITCHEN.. how the hell could this happen??? we don't qualify for an FHA loan because our debt ratio is to high, 50% to be exact. So this puts us in a huge huge huge situation... I don't know what we are going to do. We are maxed on all of our credit cards we don't make enough to make it each month... So basically to pay off our great upgraded kitchen I will probably have to go back to work full time... I am not ready to leave my babies yet... I am so torn.. If anyone knows of a office job opening that is full time with benefits that would be great, I'm not going part time, It has to be worth it. I don't even know if that will help, I hope so. Jeremy will have to work from home and be a stay at home dad and juggle all the things, while I steal our one car to get to work. O-M-G.. this is so overwhelming there are times where I can't think about it for fear I will blow a fuse.. I need the impossible to happen... And I doubt it will.. So I need to stand up, and deal with this head on. Do what I need to do to get my family by. They are definitely worth it.. If anyone has any suggestions, please send them my way...

I am going to go drown myself in my Monday night shows.... I HAVE A DATE WITH THE TV...

I THINK ITS BROKEN!!!

My foot that is.. We had the best plans on Saturday night, we were going to go to the Salt Lake Temple and look at the Christmas lights With Monica and her boys. Then we were going to go to the Gateway and walk around there, just a fun night out with my good friend and good husband and all of our kids.. I was going to make Doritos casserole for dinner since Monica has never had it I thought I would bless her with the yumminess.

At about fifteen minutes after three in the afternoon Jeremy started cooking the chicken, so I got up and did my hair and Kayla's hair and got all the kids dressed in warm clothes. While Jeremy was cooking away I was going to get ready. Went into my closet to pull a pair of jeans out and with the jeans came a BIG METAL MAG FLASHLIGHT right down on the top of my barefoot. OW OW OW OW OW OW.. tears are streaming out of my eyes and I'm yelling.. Jeremy runs to my rescue to find the flashlight on the ground and my foot bruised and swollen.. I couldn't even put a tiny amount of pressure on my foot.. so Jeremy drug me to the couch to asses the situation.. He put ice on it and I cried.. CRIED LIKE A BABY.. The kids came out to see what all the yelling was about and I looked at all of them with tear filled eyes and asked who was the last one to have the flashlight out? Miss Kayla... immediately puts her hand to her mouth and starts to sob.. Not only did Jeremy have me crying, he had Kayla crying too... I announced that I couldn't go and walk around downtown. I wanted Jeremy to take the kids and Monica and her kids and I would stay home and ice ice ice my foot. Yeah that didn't happen, Jeremy made me go get it looked at after I called my sister Heather, the one that is our own personal medical service, I'm sure she hates it.. ha ha She said that I might have broke one of the bones on the top of my foot, since there are tons of little ones it could be possible.. SO we had to cancel with Monica and her boys, and I cried about that, all the kids cried about that, I felt so bad.. So we finished cooking Doritos casserole and fed the kids and took off to get an X-ray... I DIDN'T BREAK IT... YAY.. however I felt like a complete wussy.. It hurt so bad.. The Dr. said it would hurt worse to just bruise it rather than breaking it.. so he said to ice it, elevate it and walk on it... WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO WHAT? Yeah so I'm walking on my heal, which doesn't help my chronic back pain.. yeah I'm a walking mess..

Thanks Jeremy for taking me to the Dr. Love ya for that..
Thanks so much Heather for being so medically smart, I'm sorry if we rely on your knowledge to much.. but we appreciate you so very much... LOVE YOU..
Thanks Monica for understanding my retardedness.. I'm sorry we had to cancel and I will cook you Doritos casserole very soon.. Love you guys...
Thanks Kayla and Grandma for watching the kids while we got x-rayed..

I am going to watch movies all day and ice and elevate my "feels like its broken" foot..

WHAT THANKSGIVING MEANS TO ME...

Happy Turkey day to all, and to all who don't have turkey, happy Thanksgiving to you as well. I am thankful for so much in my life.

My husband is number one, he is my staple in this life. He is my support my voice of reason, my tear wiper offer, he makes me laugh and love. I couldn't make it without him.

My children, they complete me, make me have reason to get up each and everyday. I truly love them each in a different way.

My dad who calls me while he is driving to Arizona to see his girlfriends mom. He thought of me in his time of travels and I appreciate that. He has been my rock, my solid ground. He has taught me so much already, I look forward to his teachings for the next fifty or so years. Thanks daddy, I love you and Shelly very much.

I am thankful for my mom and Don, they are truly the most loving people. Don called Jeremy the other day just to say "hey" and to see if he was watching the Utah game. I love you mom, thanks for all of your advice and reassurance especially in this past little while.

My siblings, they have always been my "company" growing up.. Ups and downs, ins and outs, I will always love them and proudly stand with them in life.

My friends, who come in all different colors and walks of life, I love the diversity, I love the challenge that each of them offer me. They are loving, giving, caring and smart people and I love to surround myself with people like that. I have truly found who my friends are and who I need to be friends with, the ones I talk to on a daily basis, the ones who care about what is going on in my life and have suggestions to offer. The ones that I care about what is happening in their lives. Friendship can only be true when both people give all they have to that friendship. I am happy and blessed to say that I have friends like that and will not except any less than what me and my friends deserve.

To my extended family, the in-laws and out-laws, aunts and uncles, cousins and family friends. I have a space in my heart and life for all of you. People are in your life for a reason and I truly treasure each and everyone that is in my life, ones that bring meaning, ones that make a difference. THANK YOU ALL..

I am a very blessed person, I am so very thankful for my life and the people in it. I am going to work very hard to let each of you know how much you mean to me...

THANKS A MILLION TIMES OVER..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

MARISHGAHARGITAY...

Hello and welcome. Today is Tuesday. I just have to say that I love Monday nights... I have a date with the TV every Monday night. Its my night to check out and watch reality TV. First is John and Kate plus eight. I love that show, I really can't tell you why, maybe because they have eight kids and can survive so it gives me inspiration to go on as well. Then Intervention. Not a funny show by any means. Its real life though. Just watching those people have an addiction to something is so scary. I am glad I watch it, I have learned so much from it and feel like I can help my children understand things. Last is The Hills, Love Love Love that show... It gets me away from reality for a bit and puts the focus on someone else's drama. It makes me look at my life and think "ok mines not so bad, everyone has drama it all comes down to how you choose to deal with it". So those are my three weaknesses on Monday nights. I love to check out and veg in my room after the kids have been put down for the night.. This keeps me sane..

Tonight is Biggest Loser, I love that show as well, it gets me motivated to get up and workout. Its reality as well. I end up crying during every show, but I know I'm not alone my dearest friend Monica watches it as well.. So to know I'm not the only one watching it is GREAT!!!

Ok so you have just heard my "secret" weaknesses.

Hope you all have and have had a great TUESDAY...

BACK ON TRACK...

Hey Everyone.. Sorry I've been away for a few days, I've been having some me and my husband time. I want to blog about the new Twilight movie but know not everyone has seen it, so I'm waiting until everyone I know has seen it and then I'll blog about it.

This weekend was great. It was the UTES vs. BYU.. My husband was so ramped up for it.. He had his beer and his cow bell out and ready to partay!!! He loves the Utes.. Glad they won, its amazing they are 12-0!!!

We got our flooring done in the kitchen and some light fixtures up, all I need to do is put a little more finishing touches on the room and It will be as done as its going to get.. We started the process of our refinance.. God, if your listening please make this refinance possible for us so we may pay off all of our bills and consolidate everything into one monthly payment... I promise I will be a good monkey.. AMEN.. As you can tell I'm totally stressed about this refi, what if we don't get the house to appraise for what we need it to be? then what? We have gone majorly into debt to upgrade our kitchen to get more money out of this refi.. I am hoping it goes our way... Otherwise I will be going and getting a full time job to pay off the kitchen upgrade... Pray for us...
We won't know anything for a week or so... I'll keep everyone posted..

I went to the grocery store today ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND.. I know I know unheard of these days. We had a blast shopping for food without yelling at children. It was so stress free. I loved every moment of it. However I was very aware of what I bought and how healthy it was. I am trying my hardest to eat healthy, to cook every night at home, to portion our food. I am starting to go to the gym with my husband, just mommy and daddy time. I have found that trying to exercises at home is worthless and hopeless, so I need to displace myself from my house and go to the gym and workout.. I am selling my Gazelle if anyone is interested, and my punching bag and my boxing gloves.. They are so cool, I just never use them and hate to see them go to waste. If your interested let me know.. I am having my own personal biggest loser challenge, its taking place within ME...

It's Sunday night, the start of a new week.. Thanksgiving week.. LOVE LOVE LOVE TURKEY...

BECAUSE ITS ON MY MIND....

I know I have already posted a blog today, but I have something on my mind so I'm going to blog about it... I'm entitled to right? my blog, my words, my thoughts IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!! PAHAHAHA...

My dad taught me many things in life, and still teaches me things even as I'm an adult and he a senior citizen..(just kidding dad). He always told me when doing things for others don't expect anything in return, thats not what favors are for. You choose to do something nice for someone because you want to help them and you can help them. If you expect things in return then you will be let down. I agree, yet its soooo hard to do something nice for someone and get NOTHING in return not even a THANK YOU....

Yet you will find what type of people to do favors for, the ones who appreciate it... The people who can't necessarily pay you back but appreciate all of your help, by saying a simple "THANK YOU" or a hug, or an email saying how much they appreciate your help. A gesture to acknowledge your helping hand.

I do love helping people whenever I can. If I can't help I find a way for them to be helped. I am a giver, a helper, a pleaser just as my father is. You do have to be very careful who you choose to help for they may expect your help yet don't appreciate it. I have helped a fair share of people who have not appreciated my favors. And if they did appreciate it, well they have a crappy way of showing it. It hurts, digs and pulls at your heart strings...

So the next time someone does something nice for you, whether its financially, emotionally even physically. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make it a point to thank them, to assure them you appreciate all their help, even if you can't pay them back, atleast let them know how much their help is appreciated... A SIMPLE THANK YOU GOES A LONG WAY.....

I feel so much better getting that off my chest, I will probably be able to go on with my day!!!!

Thank you for reading and good night...

SUCH A FUN WEEKEND....

Friday morning... I went to visit my primary care doctor... he's amazing, he listens to me.. .Thats different for me, he is the first doctor who has paid attention to my struggling back pain... he has tried me on different medications... They seem to be helping, but not as much as he would like.. So on friday I went in to talk about how I've been doing over the last month... I've been doing better, I feel like with the medication he has prescribed I can get up and get more accomplished before the medication wears off.. Once it wears off I'm back to square one for an hour or so... He changed my dosage on my medication, so I'm taking more of it... WOW it makes me feel weird... lightheaded and sweaty... He said to take it for a few weeks so my body will get used to it and then make a decision on whether to keep taking it or go back down to a smaller dose... I'll keep you posted... It takes the edge off my back pain but my head is in la la la land... I feel like a true ditz...

I am a lucky girl... I have amazing friends that I surround myself with. I take my friendships seriously, I care alot about the people in my life. I'm a pleaser, a giver. I will do anything in my power to help someone, I don't expect anything in returen except appreciation on their part.

I have this one friend inparticular, Monica. She is amazing, she is beautiful, fun loving, smart, strong, kind, a great mom and the most postive person I know. She has gone through hard times the past year yet she always picks herself up and keeps on going, I don't know where she finds all of her strength, but I can tell you it rubs off onto ME... I feel so positive when I'm around her, I have a better outlook on things after I have talked to her. She is a single mother of two amazing boys, she's a teacher and an IT specialist for the school. She runs all week long. I admire her so very much!! Anyways, she wanted to go out for drinks on Friday night and asked if I wanted to go with her. Ofcourse I do!!! she is so fun to hang out with. I invited my husband to go and a couple other people as well... We all decided to meet at my house and then carpool to the place where we were going... The only people to show up were Me, Monica and Jeremy. Small crowd... Oh well we were determined to make the best of it, we didn't want to sit home on a Friday night being losers... We went to a great place, Fiddlers Elbow in Surgarhouse, it was fun, a sports bar. It was full of dredlocked people PAHAHAHA. Our waiter was cute minus the dreds and beard. We had a wonderful time, we talked about EVERYTHING from childbirth to relationships. Monica asks the most amazing questions, she asked "tell me what you think your children will grow up to be?" It was funny to sit and discuss our thoughts and feelings about our kids. We talked about growing up in a small town. Monica asked Jeremy alot of questions about him, and Jeremy opened up to her in a way that I have never seen him do. It was truly heart warming. He has opened up to me ofcourse but not to anyone besides me. I know he likes Monica and truely trusts her enough to open up and spill is thoughts and feelings out on the table.. . It was such an intimate yet fun night.. We even stayed out past midnight... we are such the party animals...

Saturday was a nice down day... We spent it at home with the kids. Cleaned the house and watched a few movies. It was a nice family day. I had tickets to NKOTB but chose to give my ticket to my friend Amy, who went with Tiffany. I heard from multiple people that it was a great concert. I missed out totally. I will never buy tickets and then not go to the concert, that was stupid on my part... The person I gave my ticket to deserved to go out and have a great time. She is a wonderful friend and mother. She sent me a message the next day thanking me for the ticket, so that made me feel better knowing I gave it to someone who truely appreciated it. After all this time New Kids still rock!!!

Sunday Sunday SUNDAY... I went to book club. A month ago I started going to a book club that Monica and her sister started. AMAZING... All of the women are truely unique, I love that. I love diversity, I love change, I love bonding with a group of women who know who they are and where they stand in this world. I am one of the youngest women there, me and Juliana... I'm not used to being the youngest, I'm used to being right at the top, the oldest... Its not a bad thing its just different. Different conversations, different atmosphere, different views on life. I LOVE IT... I invited my sister Heather with me. She didn't have anything to do on Sunday so I asked if she wanted to go and s he did. I could tell she was nervous. Yet once everyone got there she fit right in. Her comments, her laughter, her views on our book that she hadn't read, were all great. Each woman brings something so different to the table. We can have great challenging conversations... I hope Heather has as much fun as everyone else did.. I hope she comes back next time... I look forward to book club every month... Love you book club friends...

I don't really have much planned for this week... no Dr. appointments... I am going to the Twilight movie!!!! My sister Danielle invited me and I"M SO THERE... Thursday at midnight... I'll give you all a review come Friday... I can't wait to see it... I've read the book and have fell in love with the story...

Happy Monday to you all...

CATCHING MY BREATH...

O-M-G... I have been sooo freakin busy lately, it seems like it never ends... From the time I get up in the morning til I lay my head down at night, I'm going and going. I'm getting closer to refinancing the house, we have put the final touches on the kitchen, so we are ready to begin.

Here is a summary of what I've been up to the past few days. Friday Nov 7 I had the opportunity to attend my sisters college graduation. YAY FOR HEATHER!!! Last year she changed directions in life, she went from a dead-end job to college. She quit her job to go to college full time. She pulled all of her time and resources together to make it through the rough year of full time college. She did great!!! Everyday she would put 110% into her school work, whether it would be a simple homework assignment to a big presentation. It was amazing to witness that each and everyday. She graduated and received her Medical Assistant diploma. Such a huge accomplishment, she graduated with highest honors. I am so very proud of her, she is wonderful in what she does, very knowledgeable and such a people person. She started her externship and within a week was hired on full time... WAY TO GO HEATHER... I love her.

Saturday November 8, It was like any other Saturday, got up and cleaned the house... I met my friend Chrissy at the salon so she could get her hair done. It turned out wonderful, very impressive and businesslike... We had a great time hanging out at the salon just talking and catching up on life. I love Chrissy, she is one of my very close friends, she is so loving and caring and kind... I love her and will always be there for her... Our hairstylist Danielle DeMarco, besides having an awesome last name she is brilliant at what she does. I recommend her to anyone, she works at Bella Mia Salon, she is wonder woman with hair....

After the salon, Heather, Aaron, Chrissy, Jer and I went up to Park City to attend Kari's wedding reception. We were honored to go up and visit with Kari and John. They make a great couple and are great friends. Though they live in New Jersey we still are close through facebook and myspace. It was wonderful of them to have a reception here in Utah... It made my evening... Good food, good friends and good fun... I know I sound like a TV announcer... Love the Kepplers...

Sunday, I did nothing, hung out at home with the family.. It was a down day for me, I felt a little sick. Well the sickness has stuck with me for Monday, Tuesday was Veterans day, I think I took one of our soldiers off guard. I called my friend Cole to wish him a happy day. Cole is also my ex-husband for those of you who don't know. We are better friends now than we ever were when we were together. I care alot about him, his wife and their cute kids... I love surprising people... To end my Tuesday we had a neighborhood watch meeting, the police officers didn't show up for the meeting, how nice is that?? Its their job!!! They are damn lucky we all care about our community, we stayed and had a meeting ourselves, luckily we had a speaker there to talk to us about drug abuse, prescription drug abuse, I learned so much and will bring that knowledge home to my kids and out to my friends... I feel sick again today, I have no idea what I have, but I'm freezing and achy... I just wish it would go away already...

I hope I haven't been to boning, just wanted to fill ya all in on my life the past few days... I have a Dr. appointment on Friday with the internal medicine doctor which is my primary care Dr. I hope its a good visit. We are discussing the medication he put me on and if its helping my chronic back pain... wish me luck... Hope everyone is having a great week as well..

I am almost done with book 3 of the Twilight series.. LOVE IT.. Love all of them so far.. I can't wait to see how the series ends... Is anyone else addicted to Twilight?? who has tickets for the movie coming out?

EMOTIONAL, WITH NO "TIME OF THE MONTH"

When I set this blog up, it was for family and friends to get a glimpse of what the Carter household is up to. For grandparents to have a sneak peak at what their children and grandchildren are doing. I also started this blog for ME. Something I can turn to whether it be the exciting celebrations we have as a family to a venting session for me. Something that is mine, that I can talk about. Well this is one of those posts that I need to vent, a release if you will...

My emotions have ran high the past few days!!! I feel like I could break down and cry in a moments notice... I feel like It's that time of the month... People, I don't have that time of the month anymore!!! No more do I have to bleed for seven days straight, no more do I have cramps and no more do I have to buy or wear those stupid woman diapers!!! That is what a hysterectomy does!!! So why is it that I am having EMOTIONAL PMS??? do your hormones still "think" your having a period?? I would much rather bleed for seven days then feel like this... I can't even have a "normal" conversation with my sister without feeling like the world is against me... like no one loves me type of feeling, I'm on the defense... I feel like my world is imploding!!! I can't take a joke, I can't have a serious conversation, I'm a mess!!!

I have thought long and hard as to why I'm feeling this way... Rewind a few days back. Sure I ran out of my anti-depressant pills for a few days... I called to refill them and forgot to pick them up... Is that why I'm losing control?? Over a pill??? If you know me you know I'm a huge believer in "happy pills" they make life a little easier to tolerate. But not taking them for a couple days shouldn't make a huge difference, or does it???

Rewind to Saturday, What a great day... Got dressed up in an adult costume, was on my way out to have a great time at a party. Felt good, felt pretty, hell I felt down right sexy that night!!! and thats different for me...

I was going to attend a party with close friends, who I felt comfortable with, confident with, I felt like I could be my crazy self and they wouldn't mind... I could "check out" of reality for a bit, not care about the real world around me.. Good food, good people, SOME good conversation... All in all it was a good time!!!

And in a split second it wasn't so great... I don't know where or when the turning point began... All of a sudden it got real uncomfortable. Now I'm a communicator, I think I'm an easy person to talk to, I can talk to all walks of life, sober people, not so sober people. I was talking to a friend or so I think this person is my friend, not a close friend, we have been through alot, ups and downs, we don't see eye to eye on most things, but the caring feelings are there on my part. We were in an in depth conversation, about many different things; kids, work, life, school. A subject came up that we didn't agree on, I won't get into the details, just note that it was a subject we didn't agree on. I love a challenge, I love when two adults can discuss a subject that they both disagree on, put there feelings out there, view the pros and cons of it, DEBATE!!! there was no debating going on... I don't know where this came from, the persons heart or from the alcohol...This person not only disagreed with what I thought and said, they pretty much put me down, made me feel like I am a horrible person for the choice I made on this matter, even when I wasn't asking for an opinion. This person was rude and condescending. For that second in time it made me question my integrity, my mothering skills, my purpose.. I looked to others for visual comfort, to see if I took something the wrong way, I didn't, what was said was down right mean and uncalled for. The worst part, This person probably doesn't remember ever having this conversation because of alcohol... They don't remember and I'll never forget... GREAT COMBINATION!!!!

I thought that was the worst part of the night, it wasn't, it went down hill, a train wreck that you didn't want to see but couldn't take your eyes off of it... This person had no right saying the comment that was said, I will NOT repeat it for it is way to inappropriate, childish, junior highish. It hurt, it dug deep, It was personal. It came from a person, not really my friend, a friend of a friend I guess you could say. I tried to shrug it off, not let it get to me, went on with my evening. Somewhere in the back of my mind it sat there and started smoldering, burning my brain so to speak. I held on.... Yet again, this person will not remember this comment was even said, but I will NEVER forget. You can't apologize and mean it if you don't remember saying it. I guess thats where it hurts, I could have lashed back at both of these people right then and there, but what good would that do when alcohol had taken over every part of their brain.

Things like this don't effect me they don't get me down, or they shouldn't atleast. My dad taught me, if you care what other people think of you, your better off not leaving the house. I do try to live by that. I guess when you keep so much inside it builds and your bound to explode... I EXPLODED all right. I broke down, cried, cried some more, tried to talk as I cried... pretty much blubbered... Nonetheless I appreciate the people I could blubber to.

I think I'm on the mend, I hope I'm on the up and up... I have been taking my "happy pills" for a few days now so I think they are starting to kick back in. I needed to vent, write my feelings down, make them "real", see them in front of me. Hopefully this has cleansed my heart, mind and soul. I am giving this to God, I don't want to hold the hurtful feelings anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. I learned so much that night....

What I do know now is that I will never put myself out there, put my feelings on the line. I have learned to be smart, I will leave with the ones who know when to leave... EARLY... I have really great friends, we have a close group, we come from all walks of life... we all disagree on something, thats what I love about them....but alot of alcohol for some people can bring out the worst in them...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH / HALLOWEEN!!!

Happy Halloween to all. I hope everyone had a fun and SAFE Halloween. We had a great time.
Hannah had her 2nd birthday and we went trick or treating with family and friends. Jeremy and I also attended an "adult" Halloween Party, we went and Santa and Mrs. Clause. Here are some pictures that I wanted to share with all of you.

Love

Hannah really wasn't a princess batman, she was actually piglet. I didn't get a picture of her in her costume because she kept running from me. So I'm lucky I got these ones.

Emma was Belle from beauty and the beast.

Kayla was Cinderella

Brycen was batman.

Caiden was "The thing"

Kaleb was Robin

Austin was a Vampire

Alexis was a pumpkin baby

Lucas was a dead ninja

Lindsay was a butterfly

Sidney was a girl jedi

Emily was a pirate

TO EARLY FOR ANYTHING...

So I'm up early AGAIN.. Its become a "routine". I am protesting against my body. My brain wants to sleep but my body says "nope, I hurt, get up". So here I am. Its to early for anything...

I would just like to write about my feelings right now. Can I just say that I hate drama... My New Years Resolution is to be in a drama/ stress free zone. Its not good for my heart, my body or my complexion... I know we find drama lurking around in every corner, but no more am I going to dive in to try and save someone. If there is one thing my dad instilled upon me is to care for others. I do, In fact I am to caring, I didn't think that was possible until this year. You try and help one person, and come to find another person is hating you for it. I feel like I can't win. So what do you do? Suggestions are much appreciated!!!

What I do know, is that I surround myself with certain people who complete me, people who will be there through it all, thick or thin, good or bad. You can't find that in the grocery store... I have had a hard week and its only Wednesday!! I would just like to thank a few people for being there for me this week... I mean they are always there but this week in particular... First my husband, Thanks Jeremy for being there always, for picking me up when I feel like I've fallen, for scrapping me up off the ground when life has a way of pushing me down and holding me there. Heather, thank you so much for being my sound board. You are one busy lady and yet you find time everyday when you pick the boys up to ask how my day was and listen to the good and bad parts. Thanks, it means ALOT. Chrissay, thanks girl for standing beside me, for giving me strength to move forward. For keeping things in focus regarding a specific issue. I hope we will be there for each other ALWAYS... I am a lucky girl to have such great family and friends!! Thanks EVERYONE!!!

I feel much better writing my feelings down, I guess its one of the reasons I wanted to start this blog. I want to try and manage my stress, and writing it down helps. I am taking a deep breathe and going to start my day. Happy Wednesday...

KITCHEN REMODEL!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! Or as Kayla would say O-M-G. Remodeling a kitchen is hard work, even if you have someone install it. You need patience, more patience and alot more patience... Living in the same house with four children, two dogs and a husband is a task, but when you take the most centrally located room, and put it under construction the chaos begins... I knew it was going to be hard, I tried to prepare myself for it, but honestly, who can really prepare for this big of an event? Living out of our microwave and fridge is difficult. We had the microwave on top of the fridge and the toaster up there and the coffee pot as well.. YEAH not a good idea, we tripped the breaker!!! many many times, we tripped the breaker.. we had to move the microwave out to the back porch area (where we hang our coats and backpacks), the coffee pot went back there as well. We plugged the toaster in as we used it. O-M-G...

If you know me you know I like a schedule.. I plan everything, hardly ever spur of the moment stuff. I'm trying to get better at that. I just feel comfortable and in control when I have things layed out in front of me... I guess with four kids you have to at times. Well I had to throw my schedule out the window, I had to put forth my "fly by the seat of your pants, moment to moment" attitude. It has been difficult. I tried to keep things clean as the days went on, I found I was dusting everything, everyday and wondering how the hell everything got so dirty. It was people walking in and out of the house constantly, bringing things in, cutting wood, blah blah blah. So finally I just stopped trying to keep up with the cleaning. The cabinets were installed on Wednesday, Countertops were installed a week later, and appliances delivered this past Friday, leaving us to put it all together. We managed to get that accomplished (it took all weekend). As of today we have a working kitchen. I have no energy left to get the crown molding up and the floor down and all the touch ups done.. I was shooting for getting things accomplished by Hannah's birthday party which will be on Halloween night. I don't think that will happen, there is just so much to do in such a little time. Does that make it okay for me to feel bad about that? To invite people over to a house that's not all the way done? I hope not... If they truly love me then they will love everything that comes with me right? RIGHT!!!
Here are a few pictures of the before, during and AFTER.... Glad to say that we have a kitchen that works... YAY US!!!!!

To the left is the bar area, need to get bar stools for the kids

Below is the finished product...

The pictures below are the colors I chose, brown and toffee colors...

Above is Emma helping with the plywood walls

To the right, all the cabinets in their boxes...


Below is what our kitchen looked like before the chaos began...

OUR NEXT BIG PROJECT... THE BASEMENT!!!! STAY TUNED...

HALLOWEEN FUN WITH PETS....

My sister Heather and I thought it would be fun to dress Kabo and Kantina up in build-a-bear outfits. This was supposed to be their Halloween costumes... Yeah it didn't work out as planned. They didn't fit, and the dogs weren't to happy about playing dress up. But Heather and I had a blast!!!

As you can see from the photos, Kabo was Puss-n-Boots and Teenie was Donkey.. And then Kabo was Donkey.. I had to give them a treat when we were finished, THEY WERE MAD!!! They are like life size dolls with fur. Why is it we find joy in tormenting our pets? (My pets were not harmed during dress up time, or photography time).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM KABO AND TEENIE...

INTRODUCTIONS...

Since this is my first post, I will introduce you to "the fam", they are my world, my everything, they are my good and bad days, ups and downs, there always there.

DAD: This is Jeremy or Jer, He is the man of the house, the money maker, my best friend, lover, husband and an all around great guy. He loves to wear hawaiian shirts, everyday is a vacation for Jeremy. He lives life with lots of laughs and beer. He's a son, an uncle and an in-law. He's an only child. He is always there for his children, he will never miss a performance or a field trip. He is funny, smart, out-going, loving and good looking!!





MOM: I'm Melissa - DUH.. I'm a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, ant, an inlaw. I am everything to everyone. I am a 'fixer" I love to help people emotionally and physically. I live for my kids and my husband. I have a wonderful family, who keeps the big picture in focus. I surround myself with friends who lift me up, who help me shine, who make me whole.

DAUGHTER: This is Kayla, la la for short. She is almost 13 years old. She is my first born. She has two families, The Carters and The Duffey's. She is the oldest of 5 children. three from the Carters and Two from the Duffey's. She loves all of her siblings. She is in 7th grade, Junior High. Kayla is very smart and out-going. She loves to fish, camp, paint, draw, anything artistic. She loves music and dance.

DOG: This is Kabo, he is a miniature Dachshund. He is 3 years old in human years and 21 years old in dog years. He is very well behaved. He loves to give kisses, lick feet, he's a protector. He loves food. Fries are his favorite.

SON: This is Brycen, he's 7 years old and in 2nd grade. He loves sports, any sport. Football is his favorite, followed by baseball. He is very smart and a good listener at school, but when at home he is a different child, running non-stop. He loves to play playstation with his cousins.

DOG: this is Kantina, she is a miniature Dachshund as well. She is almost 2 in human years and 14 in dog years. We think she has emotional issues, she's very shy and shakey. We have had her since she was four months old.. I think her emotional problems are due to her plane ride to utah. She loves to bark and play with Kabo.

DAUGHTER: this is Emma, she is almost 4 years old and in pre-school. She goes to school five days a week, four hours a day. I love it. She is the type of child who gets so comfortable at home that she doesn't want to go anywhere. Getting her into pre-school was the best thing we could have done for Emma, she needs to branch out. She has learned to write her name. She is our "fire cracker" she carries the attitude in the family.

DAUGHTER: This is Hannah Joule pronounced Jewel, she will be 2 years old on Oct 30th. I was to be induced on Halloween, but she had other plans and came a day early. Hannah is very smart, she talks alot. She loves her siblings and her dogs. She is very loving and kind. She wants to be just like her brother and sisters. Hannah had her apendix out over Labor Day weekend. It was an emergency surgery. She stayed in the hospital for a week, and has recovered well. She is our strongest child.

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THERE you go, The Carter 6 Pack, I hope you all enjoy the stories, adventures, updates, my thoughts and feelings and our day to day lives.

Welcome!!!